Wednesday, February 6, 2019

10 Things About You That Will Change When You Lose Your Parents.



We never realise our parents are human beings until it's too late. We grow up thinking of them as invincible. But then we grow up, and we forget that they're ageing, too.
Before we know it, we're watching our superheroes turn into old people we don't even recognise. We're too afraid to say anything but we know that one day, they won't be here anymore.
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There are many things you'll wish you would have said when your parents were still around to hear them. Here are 10 things you'll face after your parents are gone. Learn from these lessons and change your life now. You don't have to wait until your parents are gone to appreciate them.

1. You'll realise how much you loved them.


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That's the irony of loss. You only realise how deeply you loved someone until they aren't there anymore.


2. You'll still want to call them when something happens.


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Sometimes, you may get your phone out and only realise as you're about to hit "Call" that they aren't here anymore.

3. You'll learn secrets.


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You'll uncover details about your parents' lives that make you uncomfortable. You'll realise that they were actually people, not just parents, and you won't know how to handle that because you can't tell them.

4. Holidays are Lonely


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Even if you have a spouse or even kids of your own, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas and all the other holidays feel a bit empty.

5. You will be jealous of anyone who has parents to spend time with.


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You'll envy anyone who gets to go home for the holidays. You'll mentally curse anyone who complains about having to spend time with their parents for any reason.

6. The sadness never leaves.


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You will cry just as much as you did the day they died sometimes. The pain changes with time, but it's never gone.

7. You'll won't be able to listen to people complain about their nagging parents again.


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You'd give anything to have your mom call you up and nag you one more time.

8. You'll feel loss for the grandchildren and great-grandchildren they'll never meet.


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The family photos you won't get to take, the holidays you'll never spend together ... lifetimes of memories you have not been able to have, will flood your brain.

9. You won't be able to move for a long time.


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You'll feel physically sick, and you'll wish more than anything that your mom or dad were there to make you soup and take care of you.

10. You will understand the importance of family more.


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No one else is ever going to love you so unconditionally. No matter how often you felt they judged you, they never turned you away, did they? We used to scoff when they'd say, "I only want the best for you." Now we know they meant it.

If you have lost your parents, you'll understand what it's like to miss them every day. They may no longer be here, but they'll always live on in you. As we grow up and lose our parents, some of us sooner than others, we change. We learn to appreciate the little moments with our own kids more, and hopefully, the memories we make will comfort them when they're in our shoes. What lessons did you learn after losing your parents? Let us know - and make sure to pass this on to your friends to remind them to show their, parents, some love.

91 comments:

Unknown said...


I'm very fortunate to still have my parents, they are in their 80's, it makes you think....to make the most time while I still have my parents ..

Unknown said...

very true

jennifer cooper said...

miss mine every day and would give anything to see them again they were both taken so quickly and suddenly never got the chance to say goodbye and many years later it still hurts.

MDBurns said...

We lost our lovely Dad two years ago. He was everything to me and my brother, as we Mum died when we were only little. He was our Dad, Mum, Grandparent, Mentor - everything. Miss him so much - his warmth, his wisdom and his unconditional love.

Global-Sampler2.blogspot.com said...

You may also feel like an adult orphan. Unprotected! For believers, we know the deceased are with our Lord amd Savior and we must give time, time as we heal daily.

Anonymous said...

Thank you I need thisI lost my who family no one to love & no one to love me it does get scary with out them & this world so wicked hard to survive alone too... Thank you God Bless you

TheNinyo77 said...

You'll miss the chance to say " yes you where 100% correct " to all their advice , when you thought you knew it all .

Laurel Siloy said...

Lost dad at age 6 and mom 34 years later. The father I missed out on so many memories and the mother who was my true best friend. In some ways, the 3 month anniversary is worse than D Day. And the roller coaster of emotions was so unanticipated...I usually handle it okay but have my not-so-happy hysterical moments. I actually was an orphan and say I am little Orphan Annie again. I know whatever the emotion, that it really will all be okay, and, this too shall pass.

Nora said...

I lost my mom in a car accident in 2008 and 7 months later I lost my husband due to end-stage MS. The first person I picked up the phone to call when he died was my mom, then I realized as I was dialing her number she wasn't there any longer and that really made my grief harder to deal with. They say we are never guaranteed anytime here on Earth and I agree we need to treasure our parents while they're still alive. Love them unconditionally and as mad as they make you sometimes just remember once they're gone they're gone. I would give anything to be able to spend one more day with my mom but I know when my time is up I'll see you again. So remember treasure each and every moment you get to see and talk to your parents is you will not realize how much you miss them until they are gone.

Anonymous said...

I lost my beautiful mother 14 weeks ago and I spent the last week of her life with her all day and all night. She was 78 years old and my father just turned 85. We were raised with very high values for family, so me and my three brothers spent as much time as we could with her. I took care of my mother for some years now. She had parkinsons and alzheimers but what took her was she had a heart attack in May and they couldn't do anything about it since she had bad kidneys and they couldn't do any testing with dyes. It is so very important that no matter how old you are or what the case may be you need to spend as much time with your parents as you can. They sacrificed so much over the years to care for and raise us and they deserve the same sacrifice from us as they get older. We all miss my mother daily and it is really hard on my father. Their anniversary was the 4th and they would of been married 61 years. I know she is still with us, but it is so different with her not physically being here. It is a hurt that will never heal! My father and I cared for her through all of the illness and to the end. I wouldn't of changed anything that I did for my mother, and will do the same for my father. WE now spend as much time as we can with him, because he needs us. There is a definite emptiness in us all!

Unknown said...

I lost My mum two weeks ago i feel lost She was My safe Port she allways there for me and now She is gone

Anonymous said...

Its coming up to my mum's 1st Anniversary on Feb 14th she was 58 I'm lost without her she was my best friend and my daughters best friend

Anonymous said...

My parents are 84 and 89, and both have varying levels of dementia. In a way, it feels as if I lost them a long time ago, but it is nice to know I can still give them a call. My daughter was in a bad wreck last week. Late in the night and while sitting in her hospital room, I noticed I had a voicemail on my phone. It was a message from my mother that I had already listened to, and it made very little sense, but I listened to it again. Just the sound of my mother's voice made me feel that things were going to be ok....

Unknown said...

You still won’t understand until they’re gone.

Anonymous said...

I lost my mum, when I was 29 this year will be 12 years and I still want to talk to her every day or something happens and she's the first person I want to tell, my dad passed away 6 yrs ago and I still write a text to him before it hits me he's gone, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss either of them,

Lauren said...

I’ve been on this earth many years longer without my mom then with her. 31 years gone. And dad 20 years. I’ll never get over it. It had defined who I was for years and made me a nervous mom to my own kids (who are adults now). My daughter looks exactly like her too. With the help and love (and rational thinking) of my boyfriend I’ve just started to really work thru the grief. Losing a healthy mother suddenly rips your heart out and changes you forever.

Anonymous said...

Lost both my parents 18 months apart. It’s been almost six for Mom and four for Dad. Sometimes I just feel like I’m here but I’m really not. Put a smile on my face, while inside I’m crying so much. Nothing seems right anymore. Everyone please treasure your time with your parents. Tell them you love them, make sure in your busy schedule you put time in there for them.

Deirdre said...

After our mom died 9 years ago, I came to live with and care for our dad. He died in November and I still miss him so much every day. Everyone says it is different when you lose your second parent and I believe it. He was 96 and he had a good long life. We were very blessed that he was generally healthy and his mind was good up to near the end. But I still feel so sad. The house feels so empty-the void is real. And it's true, I do get annoyed at people who complain about having to do things for/with their parents. Count your blessings!

Dee said...

Lost dad at 17 to cancer then a year later I lost my mum in a car crash and now I’m 61 and still miss them. I miss the advice I should have been given on work, dress, relationships, heartbreaks, travel, marriage, divorce, children, health problems and how to grow old gracefully. I miss the unconditional love and trust and those boundaries that taught me how to be a better person. I miss the knowledge from my mother on everyday hints and tips on being a good mum and wife and who won’t judge when I get it wrong. I miss the shoulder of strength from my dad who was never disappointed when I didn’t do as well as I should have, that gentle squeeze of the hand that reassured me and made me try harder. My friends are now losing their parents to old age and I envy them the time they had to share with their mums and dads then realise they knew them for so much longer and how hard it must be for them to lose that impact on their lives. Blessings to all parents, may you all give and receive the love that is between you and your children forever.

Anonymous said...

Crying profusely, reading others comments, is somewhat comforting as I see others that feel as I do. People that still have their parents +/or some younger people don't really understand + it's hard to explain to them, they haven't felt that pain + emptiness which doesn't seem to go away. I lost my mom 14 yrs ago, my dad just 3-1/2 yrs, but the grief, it seems like it happened yesterday. I particularly miss my dad, we were so close. I've lost my brother, all my immediate family gone. Thank God that I do have a son who has a family of his own but they live far away. I feel better knowing that there are others that feel as I do + that I'm not just an over emotional person who should be finished grieving by now, so, thanks to everyone for your comments. God Bless.

Becky said...

I just lost my Mom on February 3rd ��. I sit back and think about things I wish I would've done different. I was her caregiver for 3 years so I was blessed to have that extra special time with her, but on the other hand I also grew tired and irritated with the situation sometimes. So if you still have your parents take this time to call them, or drop by and see them, because you only get one Mom, and Dad.

Anonymous said...

Lost my mom in 2001 and even though we didn't have a good relationship, I still miss her. Lost my dad in 2008 and have never felt so alone as the day I lost him. I was his baby and he is now my angel.

Sharon said...

I lost my Dad in 59, many years ago I was 12. Lost my Mom 9 years ago, she was my best friend. I still today want to call her and chat. Miss and love you both.

Unknown said...

I lost my Mom it will be 10 yrs in Sept & I lost my dad it will be 34 years in July i was 54 when i lost my mom and 30 when i lost my dad,, i miss them very much , i wish they were still here, My mom was 82 & my dad was 63.

Steve E said...

I have only my Dad left, I lost my to Cancer 6years ago. I still miss her everyday.

Jessie said...

I lost ny mother in 2012 Every day is a stuggle still . Holodays are far from being lonely. You feel there just no meaning anymore . certain smells, movies, songs, the things that come out of your mouth makes you think of them . Im not saying thats a bad thing . All im saying is everyday is struggle for me . The gulit i feel with the what if's...... What if i did this? or what if i was there more. or why didnt i tell her i appericated her more? ..... lovee your parents love them like its your last day with them . everyday . call them tell them you love them . invite them over for dinnr . If your close to your parents its painfful...

Unknown said...

Wish I had told my parents how much I loved them. Dad passed away at 67 while away on vacation. Mom who was my rock and saw me through 3 bouts of cancer passed at 81 just after Christmas 3 years ago while my brother and sister-in-law were home for a visit. It still hurts around all the holidays and birthdays. This Christmas we had a family dinner with 21 immediate relatives (husbands, girlfriends etc. not included in that count but were there) and all I could think of was Mom and Dad should be here and how they would have loved this. They had 5 of us and it is unbelievable how the family has grown. Crying now so will quit but if you still have a parent(s) let them know you love them before you don't have that time. It will hurt you until your last day if you don't.

Ohanaloves said...

I know your pain and I am so sorry you had to endure so much! My mom went missing in 6/2002. P.D. dropped my missing persons report saying, she is an adult so even if we found her we would not have to tell you. (Wrongful actions on that detective) Anyways for 8 years I looked all by myself. Started giving up then my husband that was only 43 was diagnosed with stage 5 liver disease. We have a child together and at that time she just turned 3 yrs old. 4 1/2 months after diagnosis he left us on s
9/9/09 to be with our heavenly father. Then 6 months later detectives show up saying their opening my moms cold case. I knew something was up so I found out that human remains were found. 2 months later I get the devastating news. The remains were my mom. It was so hard losing both around the same time but devastating when you lose your parent. It's been 17 years now but it still feels like yesterday.
I wish you didn't have to go through this ordeal. Sending my love to you and may you find peace within so you can start healing! Xo

Unknown said...

So true. I work in ages care and see it daily.
Don't take your parents for granted

Unknown said...

I lost my Dad in Dec 2015 and due to my granddaughter being in the hospital in another province ,I missed my own Dad's funeral.I never had the chance to say my last I love you Dad..I now have my Mom living with me as she has Alzheimer's and I watch her slowly slip away.I never dreamt that I would be where I am today..Having Mom live with me has brought us so much closer however I'm afraid of how I will handle losing Mom when the time comes..I make sure I tell Mom many times during the day that I love her so much..I make her favorite breakfast many times a week and I hold one memory of my Dad for her which is ,,he always gave her flowers on every special holiday..It keeps my Dad alive for her..

Yvonne Banta said...

I lost my Dad 5 years ago and it still hurts. It feels like he to took a piece of my heart with him. He use to come to me when he first died in my dreams but not anymore, which saddens me..

Unknown said...

Reading these comments, I realise I've felt every one. Lost my Mum just over 2 yrs ago. Still so fresh in my heart. I work with the elderly and see so many who never get visits or calls. Please never forget your parents no matter where you are in life. My Mum was my saviour and now my angel. I will never ever forget all the sacrifices she gave in love. I told her every day how much I loved her. And still feel I didn't do enough. It makes me cry as I read these comments. You only get one set of parents. Love them, cherish them, and always let them know you're there for them, just as they were there for you.

Lynda Kloos said...

Reading these comments, I realise I've felt every one. Lost my Mum just over 2 yrs ago. Still so fresh in my heart. I work with the elderly and see so many who never get visits or calls. Please never forget your parents no matter where you are in life. My Mum was my saviour and now my angel. I will never ever forget all the sacrifices she gave in love. I told her every day how much I loved her. And still feel I didn't do enough. It makes me cry as I read these comments. You only get one set of parents. Love them, cherish them, and always let them know you're there for them, just as they were there for you.

Unknown said...

Just cherish it parents I lost both mine in a space of 2 years drvasdevas still am hearts shattered

Lee Ann Ropes said...

Every word of this article is true and accurate. After my parents died, I started writing a memoir and through the 11 years it took me to finish it, I found understanding, humor and forgiveness that I didn’t know was missing and certainly never thought I would find. When your parents die, you become an orphan - a feeling that is almost impossible to comprehend.
The book I wrote - Playing On Railroad Tracks, helped me to love them more even when they were gone. Lee Ann Ropes

Anonymous said...

My Mum passed away in 2009 and i accepted this as she was so ill she just couldn't stay here anymore. It took me so long to grieve and to cry and i felt angry that she had left me! Although in some ways it made it easier for me to accept her death.

After we lost Mum my self and my sister looked after Dad as he had been diagnosed with vascular dementia. We had two years of looking after him and then he got so bad we had to put him in a care home. I never felt so guilty in all my life. It took him a good two years of being in the home to settle, and then he got worse gradually, every week for 6 years we noticed him slipping away in front of us. gradually the dementia took over and although my Dad was in front of me he was just not there anymore.

Its been nearly 2 years now since we lost Dad and we both miss them so much!.
We feel like orphans left alone and abandoned, it still hurts, we still cry and i think we always will do.
Please if you can spend time with them, phone them and above all love them while you can.

Kimberly Blake- Corn said...

I lost my dear Dad this past December. I never took him for granted. I appreciated every moment I had with him. I knew having him all these years was truly a gift. He was 92 but was in great health most of his life. In Sept. he came down with pnemonia and he never fully recovered from that. In the few months to follow his health started to diminish and we lost him. I loved my Dad so much and I miss him terribly. When my dear mum passed away back in 2000, I didn't know what I was going to do without her. I grew a special bond with my Dad through those years...it was a gift. We became close and now with him gone, I find myself saying "I need to go see Dad" or I need to call him"- it doesn't seem real at times that he is no longer with us. I find comfort knowing he is with my Dear mum and all the family and friends he lost through the years. I miss him so very much.

Unknown said...

so very true Maureen, when I wake up in the morning I think my Mom or Nanny were in the other room, what a disappointment...just been dreaming and talking to them in my dreams.....wishes will never come true......

Unknown said...

I lost my dad when I was 4. My mom passed in 06 and then my sister a week ago today and I am 44. Please hear me...the numbers above are so correct. If your mom & dad are still with you....cherish every moment because you can lose everything on a second.

Anonymous said...

I can't help wondering if my son will actually feel all this when I'm gone. It pains me to say I think he won't.

Amazing Quotes said...

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chris pullin said...

I just want to ask dad stuff and passed in 87 and mum 2013

Unknown said...

OH! So true. My Mom was my best friend and my Dad my hero.

Anonymous said...

My Mother passed almost two weeks ago.
My heart is broken.

Anonymous said...

Life is not the same without my Parents. , I definitely feel like an orfen. I Lost my sister, dad, and mom all in 18 mons. so hard!! that was 14 yrs ago. The hurt is still there and the loneliness is always there. However I have 2 beautiful grandchildren, that help me with the void, So Thankful!!

Anonymous said...

Except the pain for the Believer whose parents never accepted Christ, to your knowledge. ��

Unknown said...

I lost my mom at 3 than my grandparents as adult but miss them all so much.please love them with all of your heart

Unknown said...

Reading this makes me sad because I never had parents to have those kinds of relationships with. My father was an emotionally abusive alcoholic who never recovered and died cursing his children and God. My mother is still alive but, in her mental illness, has burned all of our baby pictures and will have nothing to do with any of her children. I have grieved the loss of my parents since I was a child... when the dying part actually happens it is almost a relief. That may sound cruel, but the pain of the abuse I grew up with ripped away any kind of joy in connection with these two people that I loved but were never able to love me well. If you have the kind of parents that include the possibility of life-giving relationships, cherish them hold them close. You are very blessed.

Lori Harrison said...

I've lost both of my Best friends. Dad 5 yrs. Ago and Mom 3 yrs. Ago. I wish everyday that I could pick up the phone and tell them that I Love them. I Miss both of them. Hugs and kisses to you from your Only Daughter Lori.

Anonymous said...

I'm in my Seventies. I Lost my father in 1984! I still hold him, his love of me & the wisdom he gifted me with close inside my heart, soul & mind. He is a steadfast companion & devoted spirit, an active principal whom guides me daily. Grateful am I. Mom is in her late eighties & still vital & grounded in life! She & I had a very painful & hostile life together...I find it difficult to cope with the truth; that we will never make peace. When I lost my grandma, she was the nurturer in my life. I was unable to feel anything about her death for 20 years. Numbness was holding my heart together. My father & grandmother often visited & guided me in my dreamtime. They walked with me until I evolved enough to allow them to go do their work in Rainbow Land. I grieve sometimes because I can not touch or hold them; but I never feel lost nor alone ! I am blessed! I have accepted that the unresolved issues with my mother have been effectively like a tragic grief, for my entire life I have desired & never received the necessary attention that a mother gives. She has effectively been dead to me all of my life. When I came to realize this, I was able to release my need & learn to cope with my grief of not having a mother. So you see, a person can still be living & One can still be grieving with them standing next to you. I imagine, when she truly is dead, I will stop hoping & be able finally,to properly grieve. May the blessings of the Great Spirit surround each of us with healing love ! AHO !

Anonymous said...

I lost my mom in 2000 and my dad in 2008. Everything that was listed is so true. I feel lost without them and wish I could pickup the phone and talk to them again. If you still have your parents, cherish them because before you know it, they will be gone and you will wish you still have them.

Elizabeth Baird said...

I lost my dad when i was 3, in 2012 my mum sadly passed away suddenly, then in 2013 my stepdad passed away aswell just 10 months after my mum, sadly i miss them both terribly. My daughter misses her gran (my mum) dont take ur parents for granted, tell them u love them before its too late. I couldnt face going to see my mum after she died, i feel very lonely at times, but i have a very loving hubby and daughter that i see everyday, love ur family no matter what!!

Unknown said...

I lost both my parents 1yr apart there not a day that goes by that i don't love and miss them your never the same

Unknown said...

It is the first significant loss you will have to get through...without them.

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vonnie said...

No matter what your age or curmastances when we lose our parents this makes us orphans. No matter how old we are, it changes our lives forever. As long as our mother is alive we know that no matter what our situation we will always have a place to go, if needed. Once she’s gone, we no longer feel safe nor really wanted.

Anonymous said...

Lost my Dad last year. His mind was sharp but his body was failing. He was 88. I loved my Dad very much. He taught me about science and cars and money. Before I went home or hung up the phone, he would say" see you later alligator" and I would say " in awhile crocodile". I would also say " I love you". I moved in 2017 to help both my parents. Mom is still here and I tell her " I love you" everyday and hold her hand.

Anonymous said...

Guess I'm the exception to all 10 of these. I don't miss my parents especially my mother. She was verbally abusive to me and I was her sole caregiver for the last 10 years of her life.

Anonymous said...

So true as far as feeling like an orphan

Anonymous said...

I barely talk to my parents and I can't wait to be alone when I leave there place after visiting.
None of these will affect me.

Anonymous said...

Lost my sister first, then 4 months later mother, 21 months later lost dad. Never thought I would be the only family member left. Mother passed shortly after I had left the hospital....had just gotten home. Had just got dad into a hospice facility the night before when I got their call. Miss all of my family and think about all the family times frequently. A big void to fill.

lin said...

My mom died in the January 3 years ago. My dad died in the December the same year. The first thing l said was......”I am now an a orphan”....I was 58 and felt so alone......Still do......😢

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel I became an orphan at 41. Keep your chin up. It's hard but you will make it.

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel I became a orphan at 41. Keep your chin up . It's hard but you can make it.

Unknown said...

My father passed away 7 years ago on March 15. He was my very best friend, and the only one in my life that showed me loyalty and unconditional love. He was an honorable man, and I miss him every single day. He is in my thoughts and feelings each day in some way. Happy memories are what I hold on to.

Barb said...

My dad passed 42 years ago on 2/22/77 with a sharp mind to the end. He was a brilliant man and I learned so much from him. My Mother lived 6 years more and passed 5/3/83. Mom also had a sharp mind so I enjoyed a great relationship with her. She lived with us and my husband took great care of her. I miss them every day and wish I could speak to them. I know they are watching over me. They each have come to me under circumstances I cannot deny which brought me great comfort, most recently when my husband passed away in my arms. My Mom came to take him on to his next home. Love and miss them every single day.








Anonymous said...

I am 50 this year, Last saw my mum when I was 6, she died when I was 10, dad still alive but not seeing him anymore, (incest), moved from France to London aged 20, stayed 26 Years came back to France 2 Years ago following family breakdown, which lead to losing my kids. I have not seen them for over 5 Years, turned against me to stay with their father despite court ruling saying otherwise. Felt abandonned again and again in my life, alone, despite a twin Brother and sister in France. Very complicated and sad story. Now trying to rebuilt my career and live long enough to see my children again.

Kimberly Sue said...

I have NO parents and I always feel like an Orphan.
There are still so so many things I want to say and do with the both of them.
I have regrets lots of them, I have memories Happy and sad.
I know one day I will see
Them again along with my husband.
That is what keeps me going.
If you are lucky enough to still have parent(s) please please talk to them everyday, see them as much as possible and make as many memories with them as you can.

page turner said...

I wish the blogger would own what they are saying and say "I" to all these points rather than "you". If we relate to what you are saying we will see ourselves as the "I" you are talking about. By saying "you" YOU make it sound like these things are true for everyone reading this. It's not. You're talking about good parents. Not one point on here applies to the many who have had horrendous parents and were lonely and much worse from the day they were born. It actually gets better for most of us when our parents die. It's a relief to know they can never get to us again.

Unknown said...

I would add that you at times have feelings of regret for what you said or didn't say or do. It never leaves and catches you off guard often. I miss both my parents greatly. They were taken far to early and when both my brother and self needed a d wanted them in our lives most.

Unknown said...

There is no pain as deep as losing your mom, dad, and husband. I find it hard to comfort others when I am not at peace with their deaths myself. To lose the parents who conceived you, cared for you, taught you to eat, crawl and walk and cared for your every need is unimaginable. Then, to lose your lover, soulmate and confidante, and have no one to talk to personally and closely you begin to understand the depth of your sadness.

Unknown said...

I lost my mum and dad 4minths apart 2yrs ago. My mum died suddenly first and my dad simply died of a broken heart the doctors said. He gave up and couldn't live without her. I felt totally alone and that orphaned feeling. First I was angry with my dad for leaving me but now I'm at peace with this as he just wanted to be with her.
My heart literally hurt for ages and still does at times.
My while attitude has changed towards life and enjoying every moment.
I am desperate that my children don't feel how I do when I'm gone but am still finding a way to solve that !
Life is precious and all of the 10things I agree with. I would have them back in a heartbeat and treasure every moment.

SHY MAIDEN said...

I am sooo blessed that I still have my momma at age 92 and she lives with me! I am having her tell me stories of her family to pass on to my younger nieces and nephews since I lost my only child and have none to pass it onto...

Unknown said...

I'm 52 yrs old n my parents are alive n together they're in their late 70s . I frequently think about the day they will no longer be there , I assume I'm preparing myself for that day but more I'm very scared because I have never lost nobody closer to me than them n I know it's part of life n I have to deal with it accordingly without breaking myself to pieces .

Unknown said...

I feel your pain, #godisgoodallthetime

Anonymous said...

I lost my parents when I was 13 I'm now 38 have 3 kids and miss and love them everyday the pain never goes away

Chris said...

We are all not so lucky, my Mother was a Narcissist, the love a got from her was conditional, I miss her conditional love but hate her as well for not loving me unconditionally,it,s a strange kind of missing

Unknown said...

I lost both of my parents. Missing them is so hard especially since there was so many things I wish I could've done when they were alive. Wishing I could turn back time and just do it all over again only better.

Unknown said...

Luckily I still have my my parents both I late seventies. I feel for you. As when I feel down I call them. Mum has copd which wasn't a real problem, last year had mastectomy. Now she's very ill during to stomach and bowel probably,hasn't left the house since January this year. Has been seeing a private consultant, but he can't do anything more. My poor dad has looked after her, done all housework. Yet he was diagnosed with vascular dementia. Has had to complete driving test twice and was fine. But just this week he's gone from a loving husband, dad and grandfather in a matter of days. From all that he seems at times like a little boy. My sis in law who is truly wonderful brings them over dinner and I do the same. Sorry longwinded. I've been ill from early 2014, have had major op in 2016 but still in pain 24/7. Hate it but I can't let them done. This last few years have been a nightmare and I'm now crying my eyes out as they've been my rock and though think and thin. I am so sorry for your loss sincerely and I'm the same the first person I dial is my mum and dad . GOD BLESS YOU my dear, keep strong, yet I k ow it's harder said than done X thinking of you and all other who have loved and lost x

Unknown said...

So true , I have stopped many time from calling home to call to mom and dad . Later in life I had a sped dad that we got along a lot and again stopped from call to see how he was and if he like to go fishing . A big empty spot in my heart with both mom and dad gone and my step dad to .

Anonymous said...

My parents live in a condo right now, dad 87 with chronic headaches and feelings of anxiety and depression and my mom 82 on full time dialysis for kidney failure. My dad asked if after their condo rental is up in two years if they can come live with me and my family (husband and three adult male kids)... initially when he asked i wanted to say yes for he has never asked me for a thing... but after a day or two of thinking about it i dont think that i can handle have to take care of them, my family and my full time job. They had a nice settlement for selling their home that could pay for a nice retirement home where they can be assisted 24/7. But inside i feel horrendously guilty and ungrateful as they did a lot for me especially in helping me raise my kids. I truly need some advice... as i am lost. I also suffer from depression and anxiety and that is my biggest fear having this become more harmful to me than i can handle.

Bec said...

I understand where you are coming from, it’s a very big responsibility having both your aged, unwell parents living with you and your immediate family. It’s so beautiful that your father asked if he and your mother can live with you guys in 2 years time. If finances aren’t an issue, you could pay for a carer or support worker to visit every day and assist your parents with their showering, meals, hygiene, appointments and you could also hire or buy things that they would need: shower chair, arm chair, other equipment, respite services. You have to ask yourself how important is it for you, your husband your boys to have and spend the last years with your parents; giving your parents a home, a home they never have to leave and the love of their family. There’s no guarantees in this life, you’d be blessed to even have them around on 2 more years.
I lost my dad in 2009 and I lost my mum in 2012 and I miss them every single day; the sadness never goes away.
My regret is in 2012 a few months before my mum died she came and stayed with me and my teenaged son for a week. Mum wanted to move out of my sister’s house and hinted at the idea of living with us, I never talked to her about it and after she went home a few weeks later she had a fall and broke her pelvis badly and couldn’t be operated on due to other medical issues and 3 days later died. I regret so much that I didn’t allow her to move in and I will never forgive myself. Mum was 60 and dad was 77.
Treasure every day you have with your parents because when they’re gone they’re gone! Your adult sons could benefit from having their grandparents live with them too. I will never know how much I weighed or my length when I was born or anything. You should record and write down family and personal information only your parents can give you.
Maybe your dad doesn’t want to live on a nursing home or retirement place. If he hasn’t asked for anything and he asks you this question, I’d say it must mean a lot to him.
Whatever you decide I hope it’s the one you don’t regret and thinking of you.
From female 41

Anonymous said...

lost my dad eight years ago...watched hum collapse from a brain anuerysm that burst...lost my mom fifteen months ago to dementia...they were wonderful parents...you never quite get over losing your parents...i find myself trying to call them on birthdays, holidays, and when i have news...there is a void there that cannot be filled...if you still have your parents, cherish every moment

Anonymous said...

My dad passed away 9/21/08 and my mom 9/19/12. My birthday is 9/24 and I buried both of them on that day. Both were taken very suddenly and I never got to say goodbye. Of course they knew I loved them and they me, but I still needed closure. It seems as more time passes I’m more upset and at times angry. They are missing so much!! Kids growing and major milestones that they aren’t here for. I’m jealous of others that still have their parents, that they have more time with. Grief comes in waves now..I just try to remember all the fun and love we had. I smile through my tears until we meet again.

Anonymous said...

I am an only child, my Mother was the one who raised me and taught me how to be a good person. Almost 3 years ago, she was diagnosed with Lung cancer that had spread all over her body. She was gone in 3 weeks. I was 42 and my Daughter was 7. My daughters “Mamaw” was her most favorite person in the world. Not having Mom around to share her granddaughter’s life is probably one of the saddest things for me to deal with, but there are many.
I am so grateful I made the decision to leave work and take care of Mom, I had no idea how quickly she would be gone. As I look back now, it was a blessing that she did not have to endure prolonged suffering. Yet, the shock of losing her so quickly has profoundly changed the way I make life decisions.
I now say what’s on my mind, do what I want to do, and always listen to my inner voice. You may never have the chance to do what you want, if you don’t do it now.
Ever since Mom died, I find “pennies from Heaven” all the time. I know she’s telling me she’s still with me. As crazy as it sounds, these coins are truly comforting to me. And of course, the first thing I want to do is to call her and tell her about it.
May God grant you peace through this life, until we can once again be with our loved ones. Thank you for letting me share a few words.

Anonymous said...

So very true , i lost my Mum when i was only 20 , i was absolutely devastated as she was my world. She never got to see any of my children, she brought us up tough but caring .i followed her everywhere possible & had a really special bond. I miss her every day still & its been 38 yrs now but it still hurts .

Anonymous said...

I do not have any feelings anymore. My dad told me many years ago that I would not amount to anything. Just wanted to feel loved.

Anonymous said...

I've lost both of my parents and I missed my father for many years but I no longer feel pain or loss as it is over 40 years since he passed. I lost my mother this year and I don't miss her at all as she was a very manipulative and bitter women. For her sake, I am happy she has passed as hopefully now she will now find peace in death that she could never find in life.
Not everyone was blessed with good people as parents.

Unknown said...

lost mint within 6 mo. of each other. I went and visited them every chance I got. I felt there time cooking near add I hugged them all the time smsI should feel their bodies getting smaller and could feel their bones more. I knew the siblings that didn't visit much we're going to get it someday but I knew I wasn't going to be one of them and I still wish I had more time with them

Nina said...

Lost my dad in 2016 and my mom three years later in 2018 as an only child even though I have my husband and my two sons I still feel very alone. Like an adult orphan it’s a feeling of profound sadness. I now know and believe you always need your parents no matter what age you are. Still grieving over the loss of my parents I miss them so much. I also saw them invincible. You realize there was never enough time spent with your loved ones and there was always something else you could have done for them. Never take your parents for granted. You won’t have them forever.

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