Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Be a Parent, not a Friend.


Some parents need to start being a parent 
instead of trying to be a friend.

Some parents need to stop being scared 
of upsetting their children.

They will get over it - Trust me!

34 comments:

Unknown said...

Sorry, but the I just don't see the
dichotomy here. As a parent, one can be both.

LL said...

i would agree

Medic2018 said...

no. One cannot be both.

Unknown said...

If you don't know the difference between being a parent,and being a friend, you are part of the problem !!!

Unknown said...

As'n onderwyser by 'n hoërskool, ondervind ek dat ouers na hulle kinders luister eerder as om die regte storie by die onderwyser te hoor. Kinders hardloop baie maklik na Mammie en Pappie om die onderwyser te verkla terwyl die skuldige een eintlik hul eie bloedjie is. Dít gebeur
wanneer die kind hom- of haarself skuldig gemaak het aan 'n oortreding by die skool. Dít is waar die verskil inkom om liewer jou kind se ouer as sy vriend te wees.

Kathy said...

Being a parent is not a one role position. There are many role's inclusive with the word/role/position of parent. If you are a parent you are a teacher, a physician, a listening ear, a play mate, a disciplinarian, and many other things rolled up into one within the role of being a parent. And one of those things is at the right time be a friend. Your children must also be able to have fun with you. All these things are inclusive in being a parent The problem is not " are we a friend or a parent" for a parent also means at the right time you are a friend. Which also includes being a parent at the same time. There is a time and a season for all things. Sometimes you be a friend and go outside and play with your kids or sit on the side of their bed and listen to how billie treated them at school. Other times you curb wrong behaviour or wrong attitude. Other times you help with homework and teach when they don't know how to do something. It is all inclusive in being a parent. The PROBLEM COMES when someone things ALL they have to be is a FRIEND AND REFUSES TO DISCIPLINE. Pay attention to the little things, stay plugged in. Be ready to step into whatever role is NEEDED in the moment. And NEVER STOP LISTENING AND TALKING. MOSTLY LISTENING. OR THEY WILL STOP TALKING.

Mike said...

Totally agree , as a parent you automatically become their best friends, so be a parent 1st and the rest comes by itself.......

Anonymous said...

You are not their friend. You aren't their peer, acquaintance or equal. You were deemed by you parenthood to be their moral compass, their comfort and their provider. You have a higher calling. You must love them without fail, yet also hold them to higher but achievable standards. You hold them accountable. You create disciplined people. You create a well functioning home and world for them. You instill lifelong values. This is far more responsibility than a friend would ever take on.

june said...

We speak ENGLISH IN AMERICA

Heath said...

JFC Karen! Dont you have a manager to ask for or some poor high school kid to belittle because your frappacinno is too cold? Calm the eff down and turn off fox news. America is a melting pot with different languages and cultures.

Mz KT said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mz KT said...

Agreed

Mz KT said...

Amen
Written very well

Unknown said...

Thanks

Unknown said...

Absolutely! I agree with this whole heartily. I was always my childrens shoulder to cry on, would play with my children and support their decision, as long as they were well thought out and would benefit them in the long run. But unlike a friend I would provide discipline when they made choices that would not help them become the person that I knew they were capable of becoming.

Anonymous said...

Yeah because society puts up with it. This country welcomes any person that goes through the rightful process to become a citizen. She is right this is the United States. We speak English. Native Americans learned. My great grandparents learned when they came over from Czechoslovakia. If they can do it then it's time for others as well that come to this country. I have had friends go to other countries for their jobs. They had to learn the language of the country in order to succeed.

Paula said...

Exactly!! I am and always will be a parent before a friend. My children are adults now and I enjoy being around them, they are my two of my best friends. But, if / when needed I will still read them the riot act, because I love them.

Unknown said...

Why would anyone go to another country for a job interview?

Unknown said...

I thought I was being a good parent...but a few years ago in one of my daughters counseling sessions, she told me 'anything she remembers in her childhood that was fun, didn't include me', so I guess I was a parent, but did she want a friend?? I can't get over that her 'therapist' wouldn't help her understand my position as a parent-?? But...now she doesn't talk to me unless I talk to her first. Very sad!! She's still not ready to make amends with me...but her dad can do no wrong!! Oh & she's never been in a real relationship or been married...but in the meantime, I have lost my daughter as I used to know..she was my shadow while little & growing up. I had a stressful job & she called one time & wanted me to go shopping...I told her I didn't feel like going, so she holds that against me too...'I should not say no to her when she asks'...her attitude was like she always had this chip on shoulder... couldn't talk to her reasonably...now I know why. ☹️

Anonymous said...

Uh June... Hate to break it to ya, but America isn't the only nation with access to the internet you dolt.

Anonymous said...

June, would that be North, Central, or South America? Based on your comment, I'm sure your English is impeccable.

Dave said...

A parents job is to raise your child or children to the best of your ability, the bottom line is that they must understand the definition of TCB and discipline from their teenage years on thru their life a well rounded but deep rooted child in your tutorial input is paramount today for their survival skills of tomorrow, I raised mine with this thought in the back of my mind what are they going to do when I am gone, how will they cope, can they stand on their own 2 feet and survive all the hardships that life throws at them, and last but not least unconditional love and tuff love when needed .

Anonymous said...

Yes!

Heaven said...


Thank you for your insight. I myself am a parent to a very difficult child. I have been able to advocate for him in a way that doesn't excuse his behavior but informs his teacher about his challenges. I pray that by the time he reaches high school he can be a respectable gentleman and a good student. Being a parent sometimes is being more than a friend because you need to love them when they are difficult and teach them how to be a good human.
Dankie vir u insig. Ek is self 'n ouer vir 'n baie moeilike kind. Ek kon vir hom pleit op 'n manier wat nie sy gedrag verskoon nie, maar sy onderwyser oor sy uitdagings inlig. Ek bid dat hy teen die tyd wat hy hoërskool bereik 'n eervolle heer en 'n goeie student kan wees. Om ouer te wees is soms meer as 'n vriend, want jy moet lief wees vir hulle as dit moeilik is en hulle leer hoe om 'n goeie mens te wees.

Anonymous said...

Thank you. I could not have Stated it better.

Anonymous said...

I believe if a parent is a friend, it changes the parent role. I went through the friend stage with one of my children and I became one of their friends that went out with them. A parent knows where they belong, a friend belongs wherever their friend is.

Lori said...

Agree until there adults

Anonymous said...

Start little by little, ask about her day, her mindset, het emosion status. Invite her to a. Movie in your bedroom or on the same couch. Make sure you follow up on her issues and show that you care about her wellbeing and pray for her but much better with her. Make sure you touch het hen you speak to he, just a hand in yours, when she goes to sleep, go and sit with her, touch het hair, hand foot. Hugs and kisses ...

Anonymous said...

Apologies, poor writing.

Unknown said...

Kathy
That was a brilliant reply

Anonymous said...

"Native Americans learned"....WOW, just wow.

Anonymous said...

I thought I was my duaghter’s Friend and parent until my husband decided to tell my children that he was an alcoholic and I had him admitted to a rehab facility. I was to blame for all that had happened during all of my children’s life and I should’ve known my husband was a drunk and put a stop to it. After several relapses and rehab stints, my husband is on the mend but my children still hold me responsible, especially my son and one daughter. My younger daughter who lives out of state, used to come home for the holidays and stay with us. She has not been home for the past three years and when she does visit, she stays with my sister-in-law, my husband’s sister who has no children and is my kids’ best friend now. We no longer watch their dogs when they go on vacation which we always did. We ask all of our children to do just one more family thing (vacation, week end together) but their answer is they’re always too busy. But they always have time for their aunt.
We were disciplinarians when the kids were growing up and advised them when we saw them doing something stupid and they all grew up to be very successful. So I guess being a parent and a friend can sometimes backfire too. Believe me, I beat myself up all the time just thinking about this.

Unknown said...

Ek het met die jare onservind dat as n ouer nie optree teen sy haar kind wat huisreels breek nie en net se DIS ORAAIT HY SY IS MAAR SOdan sit jy as ouer met n KIND WAT JOU BAAS IS EN VIR JOU AS OHERS CONTROL

G.U.Y. said...

Some people are taking it out of its true meaning - there are some parents that try to be the friend, or cool parent and when your child start seeing you as a friend then it can diminish the respect of the parent because they see you as one of their friends where as you must be the parent first then a trusted friend second all the while you need to be able to have boundaries and be able to know and see them