well thank you so much.....I'm a single mother...and proud of it!! My kids(daughter & son)always said they were proud of me as a Dad too......boy scouts, basket ball any sport... etc I went!! Loved every min of it!! Even today as grown adults....they send me my father's day card!!
I have only one son 22yrs old and I wish that he would remember all the things we did together and all the times I was there for him. I am all he had and all he still has but it's never enough. When do they stop trying to make you feel guilty?
Evelyn, I know just what you're going through, except mine that makes me feel that way is 11. His father, in and out of prison, but mostly in, treated my son terribly the little bit of time he was with him. My son would constantly say "love you dad!", Just to get a response from him. His "father" would NEVER tell him first! And, when he did come to see him, he was really coming to see (or spy) on me. Anyway, my son still thinks he took care of him when he was here, no matter how much I tell him the truth. Heartbreaking.
ladies,our children will make us feel guilty for them not to have their fathers in their lives. Its hard to tell them they were better off, and it was'nt your choice. You had dreams when your first child was born,and you kept your family together, good for you, kids don't know wht a parent is untill they become one themselves. Be patient, it will happen.
I love the way you put this. My son is 8 & for the last 4 yes I've been trying to force his father to have a relationship with my son. When my boy was four, he would tell people his dad had caddilacs, & motorcycles, and he lived in a mansion. I made it my mission to reunite them so he could get to know his father. What little interaction they have had is because I made it happen. This man knows where I live and has my phone number. He don't call for months & months at a time. My son has asked me why his dad dont call or care, what did he do wrong and that breaks my heart.Yesterday we happen to bump into daddy in traffic. You know this fool followed me & demanded my son go with him. This time around it has been 7 months. No call, my son still waiting on the shoes this dude promised him last time. B4 I stopped my car I told my son he wasn't going. Seeing my boy face light up and not wanting to b the bad guy, I was gonna let him go. I tell deadbeat to give me a number, and he start yelling at me. I ended up not letting my son go 1:cause daddy disrespected me; 2: cause if we wouldn't have bumped into him who knows when deadbeat would have reached out. I talked to my son & explained to him as best I could why he couldn't go. He was really hurt and so was I. I can't be his father physically I know this. Im done knocking on doors, finding him in clubs, i know now that i cant force a grown man to do anything, let alone whats right. Me being the bad ass mama that I am, I'm gonna see my son through all these emotional times and love him as I am his mother and father.
SOME children do better in a mother and father home....when there is mental illness and abuse it is much better for the kids to be OUT of that environment. I married a decent man, never there for us, but not hurtful. 9 years later he became depressed and mentally unstable and would NOT seek help. I was desperately trying to stick it out until he got better...then realized that the kids burst into tears whenever we came home and he was there.
He is better now but still un-supportive. BOTH kids, now 22 & 14, thank me for leaving him. They still have contact, but come home depressed after being with him. Life is still ALL about him. One of the kids needed to go to the emergency room, he was busy watching tv, told them to call me to come take them. They could wait the two hours for me to drive there in his opinion.
I TOTALLY LUV THIS PHRASE IF U WILL. MY MOTHER RAISED 5 OF US WITHOUT OUR FATHER! WE HAVE ALWAYS GIVEN MY MOTHER FATHERS DAY CARDS AND TELL HER HAPPY FATHERS DAY.WE'D NEVER LET HER FORGET HOW MUCH WE APPRECIATED ALL SHE DID AND ALL SHE SACRIFICED FOR US!!!SHE'S NO LONGER ON THIS MISERABLE EARTH.SHE'S IN HEAVEN WITH OUR HEAVENLY FATHER...I KNOW SHE'S HAPPY IN HEAVEN!!! WHERE SHE HAS ALL SHES EVER WANTED.THAT BEAUTIFUL HOME,NEW CAR AND, ALL THE DESIRES OF HER HEART SHE HAS NOW BUT, MORE IMPORTANTLY SHE'S IN HEAVEN! THAT WAS HER LIFE'S GOAL,TO MAKE IT TO HEAVEN! SHE'S THERE NOW AND, NOT HERE,I MISS YOU MOMMA,REEENEE
I have been a single mother who raised 3 children alone. There dad was only a 5 min call on Sundays an if they needed something he claimed to be barely making it. but when tax time came around he would get the children to beg me let him claim them. all they was to him was a tax refund. my daughter got married to a man who just a few weeks ago got ordain minister. my 2 boys still are with me today. my children look up to their dads some what, it does not matter because they know deep down who was there for them. through the great times an hard times an who wasn't. most children take avenge of their mothers, just give them time an when they have their children they will understand better
dear dave different people have got different opinions and i respect them but i must admit that i some times feel i am mother and father to my children since he died...but i know lord help me lot sitting above and i thank him every day...
I raised my son on my own but don't really care to be called a Bad Ass mom. I was just a mom who worked hard to give her son the love and care that he needed with some help from some excellent friends to stand in a male role models. Call us great mom, call us excellent moms, call me mom, but please don't call me a bad ass mom.
so so true
ReplyDeletewell thank you so much.....I'm a single mother...and proud of it!! My kids(daughter & son)always said they were proud of me as a Dad too......boy scouts, basket ball any sport... etc I went!! Loved every min of it!! Even today as grown adults....they send me my father's day card!!
ReplyDeleteI have only one son 22yrs old and I wish that he would remember all the things we did together and all the times I was there for him. I am all he had and all he still has but it's never enough. When do they stop trying to make you feel guilty?
DeleteEvelyn, I know just what you're going through, except mine that makes me feel that way is 11. His father, in and out of prison, but mostly in, treated my son terribly the little bit of time he was with him. My son would constantly say "love you dad!", Just to get a response from him. His "father" would NEVER tell him first! And, when he did come to see him, he was really coming to see (or spy) on me. Anyway, my son still thinks he took care of him when he was here, no matter how much I tell him the truth. Heartbreaking.
DeleteThat is awesome and very precious memories to remember.. amen God bless. Grt job done
Deleteladies,our children will make us feel guilty for them not to have their fathers in their lives. Its hard to tell them they were better off, and it was'nt your choice. You had dreams when your first child was born,and you kept your family together, good for you, kids don't know wht a parent is untill they become one themselves. Be patient, it will happen.
DeleteI love the way you put this. My son is 8 & for the last 4 yes I've been trying to force his father to have a relationship with my son. When my boy was four, he would tell people his dad had caddilacs, & motorcycles, and he lived in a mansion. I made it my mission to reunite them so he could get to know his father. What little interaction they have had is because I made it happen. This man knows where I live and has my phone number. He don't call for months & months at a time. My son has asked me why his dad dont call or care, what did he do wrong and that breaks my heart.Yesterday we happen to bump into daddy in traffic. You know this fool followed me & demanded my son go with him. This time around it has been 7 months. No call, my son still waiting on the shoes this dude promised him last time. B4 I stopped my car I told my son he wasn't going. Seeing my boy face light up and not wanting to b the bad guy, I was gonna let him go. I tell deadbeat to give me a number, and he start yelling at me. I ended up not letting my son go 1:cause daddy disrespected me; 2: cause if we wouldn't have bumped into him who knows when deadbeat would have reached out. I talked to my son & explained to him as best I could why he couldn't go. He was really hurt and so was I. I can't be his father physically I know this. Im done knocking on doors, finding him in clubs, i know now that i cant force a grown man to do anything, let alone whats right. Me being the bad ass mama that I am, I'm gonna see my son through all these emotional times and love him as I am his mother and father.
Deleteunless you are single because of a death.... this statement is so sad...
Deletechildren do best in a mother father home
SOME children do better in a mother and father home....when there is mental illness and abuse it is much better for the kids to be OUT of that environment. I married a decent man, never there for us, but not hurtful. 9 years later he became depressed and mentally unstable and would NOT seek help. I was desperately trying to stick it out until he got better...then realized that the kids burst into tears whenever we came home and he was there.
DeleteHe is better now but still un-supportive. BOTH kids, now 22 & 14, thank me for leaving him. They still have contact, but come home depressed after being with him. Life is still ALL about him. One of the kids needed to go to the emergency room, he was busy watching tv, told them to call me to come take them. They could wait the two hours for me to drive there in his opinion.
I TOTALLY LUV THIS PHRASE IF U WILL. MY MOTHER RAISED 5 OF US WITHOUT OUR FATHER! WE HAVE ALWAYS GIVEN MY MOTHER FATHERS DAY CARDS AND TELL HER HAPPY FATHERS DAY.WE'D NEVER LET HER FORGET HOW MUCH WE APPRECIATED ALL SHE DID AND ALL SHE SACRIFICED FOR US!!!SHE'S NO LONGER ON THIS MISERABLE EARTH.SHE'S IN HEAVEN WITH OUR HEAVENLY FATHER...I KNOW SHE'S HAPPY IN HEAVEN!!! WHERE SHE HAS ALL SHES EVER WANTED.THAT BEAUTIFUL HOME,NEW CAR AND, ALL THE DESIRES OF HER HEART SHE HAS NOW BUT, MORE IMPORTANTLY SHE'S IN HEAVEN! THAT WAS HER LIFE'S GOAL,TO MAKE IT TO HEAVEN! SHE'S THERE NOW AND, NOT HERE,I MISS YOU MOMMA,REEENEE
ReplyDeleteTrue I am a single mom, because the person who i tough, it will be a good dad for my daughter i found he was jerk.
ReplyDeletetrue, true, true
ReplyDeleteprecious memories
ReplyDeleteI have been a single mother who raised 3 children alone. There dad was only a 5 min call on Sundays an if they needed something he claimed to be barely making it. but when tax time came around he would get the children to beg me let him claim them. all they was to him was a tax refund. my daughter got married to a man who just a few weeks ago got ordain minister. my 2 boys still are with me today. my children look up to their dads some what, it does not matter because they know deep down who was there for them. through the great times an hard times an who wasn't. most children take avenge of their mothers, just give them time an when they have their children they will understand better
ReplyDeletedear dave different people have got different opinions and i respect them but i must admit that i some times feel i am mother and father to my children since he died...but i know lord help me lot sitting above and i thank him every day...
ReplyDeleteI raised my son on my own but don't really care to be called a Bad Ass mom. I was just a mom who worked hard to give her son the love and care that he needed with some help from some excellent friends to stand in a male role models. Call us great mom, call us excellent moms, call me mom, but please don't call me a bad ass mom.
ReplyDelete