A father walked past his son’s bedroom one day and had to do a double take. He was so surprised to see that the bed was nicely made, and the room was finally clean with no clothes left on the floor.
He nervously entered his son’s bedroom and that was when he noticed an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. All it read was “Dad”.
Fearing something was very wrong, the father became anxious and sweat slowly started creeping up on the father as he opened the envelope with trembling hands…
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I’m sorry but I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with both you and mum. I’m n love with a girl called Stacy and she is so nice. However, I don’t think either of you would approve of her because of her many piercings, tattoos, and tight motorcycle clothes. Also, she is so much older than me, 29 to be exact.
But it’s not only that I love her Dad, because she’s pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy and I should trust her. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She has dreams of us both having many more children together and I’m really excited about that...
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She deserves it!
Don’t worry, Dad. I know I’m 15 but I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that’s on the kitchen table. Call when it’s safe for me to come home!
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